Date Pains
by CzarnaArcher
Summary: Bumblebee decides to ask Miko out. Simple story with simple date. Connected to my "Impression of Miko" and "Beauty of the Beast" (but the last one is not evident here).


**Date Pains.**

**Warnings**: None, except for human – Cybertronian pairing, no smut, no violence, maybe some crude language and there may be sex mentioned somewhere, but "all talk no shock".

Timing: post season's 2 finale.

Rating: T.

Pairing: Miko and Bumblebee (platonic, at least for now).

Disclaimer: Transformers Prime © Hasbro. Story's plot and all my OC's (if apply) © me.

Stage 1 – Proposal.

Bumblebee had this tiny crush on one of the humans. It was platonic for most of the time and it wasn't a problem until recently. Bumblebee matured a lot ever since he became Raf's guardian, but what was the end of his youngling hood was a femme, sort of, a girl to be more exact. Bumblebee only noticed that it's not just micro-crush anymore after their base was destroyed. He knew that Miko was safe with her own guardian and he was sure that Bulkhead would rather ate his own tires than allowed any hurt to befall on his charge but it didn't help him much.

He tried to talk to Raf, but the 13 and a half despite knowing what it was all about could only say that 'Bee simply miss Miko and perhaps he should simply ask Miko out – that's what his older siblings usually did. Bumblebee wasn't very old for a Cybertronian but that much he knew by himself.

Then they received message that Prime took heavy damage when Decepticons destroyed their base and that Agent Fowler managed to retrieve him and Wheeljack from the ruins under Soundwave's very olfactory sensors. He also learned that Megatron abducted Mrs Darby only to return her the next morning with promise that he haven't finished with her yet (whatever he meant by that). The message contained instructions for their next moves – finding nearest military base – and warning that Decepticons will probably try to intercept them if they can find them (which the shouldn't be able to, but one can never be sure).

And after that they were transported to Area 51 (that was close to their previous localisation and almost on the Decepticon's new tower's doorstep) where everyone finally met again. In other words they regrouped.

Now they were waiting in underground bunker for Optimus to wake after few days of intense surgery and repairs performed by Ratchet and human engineers. The team performed true miracles thanks to spare parts taken from "Nemesis Prime" empty shell. Optimus still looked like hell on a stick, but at least he would live. The lack of his signature flashy blue and red paint job was a unimportant details at the moment, Ratchet was concerned about more important things right now, he still had to replace Prime's destroyed optics with those taken from "Nemesis Prime", and there was the face mask, burst audio receptors and thousands of other non-life threatening details. So when Ratchet and human engineers were spending time over Optimus' unconscious form the rest of Team Prime were just hanging around plotting how to (in Miko's words) 'trash Megatron's new crib'.

It was during one of those brain storms that Bumblebee discovered – to his utter shock – that he is jealous of Miko. He didn't mind Bulkhead who behaved like he was Miko's older brother/father/bodyguard/BFF. He didn't mind Wheeljack who Miko treated like her wrecking buddy and who in turn acted very similar to Bulkhead only less fatherly and more BFF-ly. Arcee was out of the equation, at least as long as Bumblebee was concerned, so far Miko didn't seem interested in her own gender and he knew that Arcee preferred mechs. The problem was Smokescreen.

Before the entire mess Smokes' and Bumblebee were teaching Miko to drive and Bumblebee was alright with it. He was disturbed when he learned that Smokescreen taught her some stunt driving, but then he realised that perhaps some of those skill may be useful. Now he was close to tackle Smokescreen and beat him into slab metal.

From strictly chronological point of view Smokescreen was older than Bumblebee; he also was Elite Guard and decent warrior. But Smokes' spend better part of the war in stasis pod, taking a beauty nap, out of the action. This meant that Bumblebee was in fact the one more mature and experienced of the two. Bumblebee was already a war hero while Smokescreen had pretty badge of Elite Guard and basic training.

And right now he was talking with Miko who laughed from whatever he said while Bulkhead and Wheeljack were lobbing somewhere in one of the empty hangars.

A loud crash snapped 'Bee into reality. Raf was watching him silently. "Hey 'Bee, is everything alright?"

Bumblebee gave a heavy vent. _"Not really. I can't focus when he is flirting with her."_

Raf grinned widely. He wasn't dating expert, but he knew jealousy when he saw it.

"You know 'Bee, maybe you should go there and ask her out? I mean now that we're no longer on the run, she's here and you can simply talk to her."

"_You do realise that she only understand tenth thing I say?"_ Bumblebee started to beep with sad tone to it. That was another thing – Smokescreen could speak, he himself couldn't. What usually was best evidence of his heroism in certain situation was a curse.

"You managed when you gave her driving lessons."

"_But that was when we were alone. Smokescreen will laugh at me."_ Now Bumblebee just whined.

It was so frustrating! He could communicate, but it was useless in moments when he really needed to say something. Even his current 'speech' wasn't completely legitimate. For anyone who could understand him he spoke in simple Cybertronian, no fancy vocabulary just small words.

"Come on, you can do it." Raf tried to cheer his best friend. "Just use your charm." The last part was spoken as if Raf was daring 'Bee. The scout gave Raf surprised look. Then Smokescreen started to laugh and Bumblebee felt his energon boiling. Raf only shrugged and grinned.

Bumblebee felt like he was walking through thick goo, his pedes were heavy as he approached Miko, Smokescreen, Jack and Arcee. They were laughing from something Arcee said. He hoped it wasn't anything about him. He almost chickened, but the Pit with it all, he faced Megatron more than once, he could do it! It wasn't anything scary, what was the worst that could happen to him? Miko denying him? Smokescreen laughing into his faceplates? Pity in Arcee's optics? Jack clearing his throat and pretending he didn't notice? 'Bee almost made a U-turn, but his pedes carried him despite his own angst.

And there he was. Standing with the main group. Smokescreen was telling a story from the time in his training. For now he was content with just listening to the story.

"Oh, hi 'Bee!" It was Miko who spoke first.

Bumblebee beeped in return. All optics and eyes were on him. He never felt this nervous before. He beeped again for Smokescreen to continue. Everyone returned their attention to Smokescreen.

"Yeah, and so that guy who name I can't remember fired that training cannon that was loaded with rubber balls. Those balls were used instead of live ammo so no one would get hurt, they were tiny enough not to hurt us but large enough for us to feel if they hit us. We usually used them to pretend shrapnel ammunition. When that guy fired them they ended up everywhere, covered entire floor. Of course there was this loud 'boom' that lured our drill sergeant who didn't knew we were in that training room. Poor mech marched in roaring his customary 'What in the name of Solus Prime!" He never managed to say anything else because he walked on those rubber balls. He fought bravely all the way, but he just went down. Then he tried to get up but he only managed to get into the staircase and tumbled all the way down. They gave us new serge, because the old one said that he would rather go to fight one on one with Unicron that to handle us."

There was some laughter but 'Bee was focused on Miko. He took big vent and gathered hi courage in order to be able to say anything.

"Beep, blick beep click weep."

Everyone looked at him. He focused his stare on Miko who in turn looked at him. He focused and replayed some pre-recorded words.

"Umm, would you/A DAAAATE/me?" He used fragments of a song and part of radio transmission.

It took them few moments to comprehend what he just 'said' but when they did their eyes and optics grew large.

"Umm" Jack started. "Which one of us you meant?"

Bumblebee whined and face palmed. Clearly he wasn't happy with himself right now.

He re-composed himself and ignored Smokescreen amused look. The mech didn't try to be mean but he was having good time at his teammate expense. Bumblebee pointed his digit and beeped at Miko who in turned blinked few times and blushed. It was first time that someone asked her on a date like this. She went to few dates back in Japan, but her 'dates' never used the word, they just said they wanted to go to the cinema or to eat something. None of them ever used the word 'date' to describe such an event.

"Umm…" She grinned. "Sure, I just don't know what we could do."

Bumblebee wanted to kick himself. He didn't thought about that. What he could do with Miko on a date? It's not like they could just go on a walk to a park. Or to the cinema. She could but he would have to stay outside – you couldn't count that as a date.

That was the moment when Jack – Primus bless him – came up with an idea.

"You know, there are drive in cinemas. We can check if there is one nearby."

Bumblebee legs almost gave from relief; there was still hope for them to go out on a date.

"Uh, I hope they play good movies." Miko almost jumped. "I love horror movies!" Then she froze as she recalled that Bumblebee wasn't as hard core as she was. "Though good comedy would work too, as long as it's not romantic one."

Bumblebee considered choice of a movie. He was ready to avoid any romantic movies at all cost, he knew that they were good choice for a date but they were bad for his sanity. Luckily enough Miko wasn't big on them too. So he could choose horror movie or comedy. He wasn't greatest fan of horror movies and normally he would choose a comedy, but it was a date. Raf told him that his older brother usually chooses a horror movie to go on a date because it's the second best thing to a romantic comedy when it comes to girls and movie dates. And if a boy wants to avoid romantic comedy he can take his girlfriend to a horror movie. Comedies are good but only when they go in bigger group.

Bumblebee beeped and gestured to indicate a horror movie which everyone managed to understand. Miko flashed a megawatt smile at him. Bumblebee mentally congratulated himself, not only he avoided a chick flick and picked the second best type of a movie but he managed to please his 'date'. That was good for him. He would grin if he could.

Smokescreen gave him mighty pat on his shoulder plate. "Good for you, mech! Don't forget to BEEhave." And then the rookie winked at him in the most obnoxious way possible.

Jack took it upon himself to aid Bumblebee with setting his date with Miko. The boy knew just how much it took for the scout to actually ask her out so he did what he could. Raf wanted to be helpful too and checked for auto-cinemas and found three of them in small towns between Area 51 and Las Vegas. They quickly picked a horror movie that wouldn't be too much for 'Bee (because there was no horror that would be too much for Miko) and Jack went to Agent Fowler to explain him why they needed.

Agent Fowler on his part was shocked a bit, then he smiled, sighed and mumbled something under his breath. An hour later all was set and Bumblebee felt that his knees were made of rubber as he approach Miko to ask her if next Friday was OK. It was and the youngest member of Team Prime was ready to faint.

Smokescreen watched entire situation with huge smile plastered to his face. He didn't stop even when Ratchet bonked him up the helm with his hand.

"Why are you so happy?"

"Ah, Ratchet, out baby is growing up!" Smokescteen pretend to wipe tear.

"That baby has more battle experience than you do." Rachet pointed out.

"True. But He has far less dating experience than I do." Smokescreen grinned even wider. "He just asked Miko out."

"I was wondering when he'll do it." Ratchet noticed that Miko was talking to Bulkhead who in turn looked rather confused.

"How long he wanted to do it?"

"I don't know. I suppose he had some sort of crush on Miko ever since their mission to retrieve Faze Shifter, but I guess he only decided to act upon it after we re-grouped." The medic leaned on the wall.

"That's before I arrived." Smokescreen realised. "Wow, Doc, she must be scary if it took him so long to gather courage to act."

"My name is not 'Doc', have you teamed up with Wheeljack?"

"Uh, sorry, Ratchet." Smokescreen backed few paces. He wasn't in a mood for a wrench.

"Miko can be a bit… intense. She tends to get into trouble. Once she mouthed to Megatron. She killed Insecticon that wounded Bulkhead. She can go extreme."

"WOW! How did she manage to kill a bug? I mean they're huge!" Smokescreen optics grew large.

"Apparently with Jackhammer. She teamed up with Wheeljack. You want details go to Wheeljack or Miko."

Smokescreen's optic brows went up. He liked the girl, but he would talk with Wheeljack, he didn't want to antagonise Bumblebee, the mech would be jealous now that she agreed to go out with him.

Bulkhead felt helmache developing. He always thought of Miko as his little girl that would remain so forever. And now she was going out with Bumblebee. It wasn't that he had anything against; it was that he didn't know if he approved. Sure, he trusted Bumblebee, he knew the little guy long enough, but he wasn't sure if he trusted 'Bee with Miko. So Bumblebee was Raf's guardian and was ready to do anything for his charge, also he took Miko to New York and they not only succeeded but Miko returned in good health… But that was Miko for Primus' Sake! Bulkhead felt and looked tormented, that was just too much for him. He wanted Miko to never go out on a date with anyone. But he wanted her to be happy, and she liked the idea to go out with Bumblebee.

"If it helps you, at least it's not Smokescreen." Bulkhead almost jumped as Arcee approached him silently. "'Bee is much more responsible and he'll take good care of Miko."

"Uhhh, you know I trust him, it's just…"

"It's just that he's taking your charge out, right? He took her to New York and nothing happened. Well, to us. Knockout wasn't that lucky." The femme gave him crooked smile. "She will be in good servos. It's 'Bee."

Bulkhead only groaned with martyr look on his face plates. "I know."

"I undestand. You feel protective of her. A bit like a sire would to his creation. But this is Bumblebee, you can trust him. And it's Miko, she have more luck than any two that I know put together. I don't know how it works, but it does. They will have good time, that's all."

"It's a date."

"So what? He'll be in his alt mode. Besides, the size difference excludes certain activities; all they can do is to cuddle." Arcee reached and patted Bulk's shoulder. "Besides, it's going to be horror movie. Miko will be all excited and will only speak about gore and spilled organic internals and Bumblebee will be mildly traumatised with amount of fake organic blood and falling off limbs."

That cheered the green Wrecker, it was first date that they would spend in drive in cinema watching B-class horror movie that would make Bumblebee regret having his energon before their trip. Maybe it won't be that bad?

Stage 2 – The Date from Hell.

The D-Day came. Bumblebee was strangely relaxed and so was Miko. But Bulkhead was reduced to pile of cyber-goo. There was still time for their departure and they were behaving like nothing would happen but Bulkhead was ready to glitch. Jack noted that easily.

"Hey Bulk." The boy approached big mech. "I see you're nervous."

"Wouldn't you be nervous? In two hours they'll drive away and I'll lose any control…"

"You can't go with them as chaperon. They will notice. Just relax." Jack found this entire situation comic but daren't to laugh from Bulk's misery.

"I can't. Forget Bumblebee, he's decent enough and there is this size difference, but what if they'll get attacked by 'Cons? 'Bee will be all alone, what if Megatron try to attack them just like he did when 'Bee was riding with Raf?"

"So, you need someone to spy on them? You know they will recognise anyone. Ratchet is busy with Optimus. You're too big, Smokescreen and Wheeljack are to flashy and 'Cee is easy to recognise."

Bulkhead gave Jack kicked puppy look and groaned. Jack sighed thought for a moment, then he reached for his phone and chose one of his contacts.

"Hi mum, could you borrow me your car? No, everything's fine I just need regular car… No, Arcee can't take me; she's too easy to recognisable with me as the driver… Yeah, Bulkhead needs a chaperon for Miko… No, we don't want her to notice that she has a tail… Come on, you know I can drive…"

Bumblebee opened passenger door for Miko who got in and as soon as the door shut close they went off with screaming tires. Bulkhead knew that it's nothing because 'Bee did that often enough with Raf on board and he himself did that few times as well. He called Jack.

"Everything ready?"

There was moment of silence before came the reply. "Yeah, I'm set and Arcee in on her position."

"Good." Bulkhead smiled. All would go well.

"What are you plannin'?" Wheeljack appeared from nowhere. Both his doorwings now fully functional. Not even scratch to show that he was shot down.

"Just making sure that Miko's date will go smooth and without surprises."

"Pray she won't know about it." Wheeljack had grinned imagining angry Miko.

"Don't worry."

Bumblebee was silent not knowing what to say to human girl on a first date. He was thinking intensely of any witty line but nothing came. So he decided that lame line is better than any. But he didn't had any recordings to mix to ask her what he decided would be the least lame question he could think of. So he tried new programming that Raf made – he would text her.

Miko jumped as she felt her phone vibrating. She took it out of her pocket and opened it to read the message. It was from 'Bee.

Is this your first date?

She smiled. She liked when he mixed songs and speaker's lines, but sometimes it was hard to understand what he meant. "Nah, though no one ever actually asked me to go out with him on a 'date', they only asked me out to 'hang around'. You're the first one who used the 'D' word."

Bumblebee beeped and clicked happily. Then he sent another message.

You have a boyfriend back home? He was quite anxious to ask this. What if she only agreed because she wanted to make him feel better? What if she had a boyfriend?

"I thought that I did, but it's kinda hard to date with someone who lives on the other side of the planet, you know? So we broke after I've been here for like two weeks, it was even before I met you guys." Miko scratched her chin as she thought of something. "What about you?"

Bumblebee blipped and then clicked few time fast in his own specific way of laughing.

Not really. War isn't good for dating.

Miko grinned and then stretched in his passenger seat. "Soooo… New experience for both of us in a way. I bet you never been on a movie date." 'Bee blicked in what Miko knew as 'no'. "Well, you watch a movie, and you can kiss if it's not a first date. But if it is, then you just have a good time and set the next date when you can kiss."

Kissing would be hard. I sort of don't have any working lips :c

Miko raised her eyebrows in that specific way. "Oh, sorry. "

It's nothing. I used to have, but it was wired to my voice coder. Now I can't move it much.

Suddenly Miko felt anger. It was easy to see because her face turned red, her eyebrows furrowed and her lips turned into thin line. "If I could I would kick Megatwerp's aft so hard that he would taste my boot!"

'Bee clicked again in his own brand of laughter.

He's an aft. But I provoked him. Good advice: never say to enemy commander that he will have to rip the information from your throat; he may actually try.

"Back talking doesn't excuse him." The Asian girl was still angry.

No. But giving him ideas wasn't the brightest thing to do. I should have to tell him to kiss my aft. Who knows, he might tried XD

That improved Miko's humour as she giggled imagining the surreal scene. "Now every time I'll see him I'll think of that scene. Thanks a lot, you ruined me!"

You're welcome. Came the reply and the way that the yellow Urbana drove made Miko think that he was now smug.

"Oh oh, don't make me kick your rear bumper."

Her only reply was series of clicks. Then they stopped as they arrived to the drive in cinema. Miko jumped out and ran to the check point to show her ticket (Bumblebee went in for free passing as just a car) and Miko showed her driving licence (that she got just last week after driving her examiner to near heart attack but well enough to pass) that stated that she passed her 16th birthday shortly before obtaining the document (and because the horror movie was old B-class movie she was allowed to watch it). She got the equipment to install so she could hear what was going on the screen and Bumblebee found good spot to park. Bumblebee was against eating any popcorn in, but he agreed on some candy. Shortly after their arrival the movie began.

Stage 3 – Safe homecoming.

Miko was laughing, she had swell of a time and loved every minute of the movie. Bumblebee not so much. The movie was filled with fake organic internals, hectolitres of fake blood, falling off limbs and heads, plastic brains and other similar stuff. Bumblebee wasn't human anatomy expert but even he knew that amounts of blood that characters in the movie lost were much more than normal 5 litres they have. Not to mention other details. The plot wasn't half as bad but the movie itself just couldn't be serious. Then he recalled that it was B-class movie, it was made this way on purpose. But why Miko liked it so?

I don't get it, the movie wasn't anything special.

Miko read his message and giggled. "It was fun. Besides, admit it, when that guy got gutted all those stuff looked nice and bloody."

'Bee didn't answer so Miko stretched until her joints started to snap. "Uuh, 'Bee, can you pull over? I think I need to stretch my legs before I get cramps."

Bumblebee didn't want to stop because the longer they were in the open the better chances were that some stray Decepticon can spot them and after that grim adventure with Raf 'Bee didn't want to take any chances. On the other hand he didn't want his date to get cramps. He knew that he was sport car and had small passenger compartment – it was good for a short time or for a child as small as Raf. Miko could stretch her legs but it was still rather tight inside, Bulkhead had much more space and she was accustomed to that. Bumblebee admitted to himself that he didn't mind Miko in his front seat and the fact that there wasn't very much free space didn't bothered him, quite the contrary, he like to feel her weak, human electromagnetic field; but that didn't change the fact that what he liked and what she needed ere two different things.

The space was open but it was also empty so Bumblebee pulled to the side and stopped gently. Miko jumped out and started to stretch with sigh of relief. She liked Bumblebee and he was fast, but he was also tiny and Urbana was designed for speed, this particular sub-type of Chevrolet Camaro*) was no Grand Turismo model, it was – just as its name suggested – sport car for short urban and/or suburban trips. And it felt whenever one had to get longer ride. Miko was delicate and still could stretch, but a man or more substantial woman wouldn't be able to do so.

Bumblebee liked his new view. Miko was slim and should she be a Cybertronian she would no doubt be built for speed. She would probably be a flyer or perhaps a two wheeler, or maybe a runner like him. Even being an organic she had this thing in her that told him that she was fast and could be furious – like in that movie that he liked.

Bumblebee wanted to transform but he decided that it was safer if he didn't. There was always possibility that someone would drive by and so he remain in his alt mode. Miko stretched on his hood for a moment (and he liked that very much too, because it was as close to cuddle as he could get at this moment) when something shot pass them. He only noticed that it was car and had dark paint job.

Miko caught a glimpse of that car by the corner of her eye as she lay on her back with her long, thin legs outstretched and heels dig in dry sand. "Good thing you didn't transform, Raf would have to find some funny GIF to replace your picture again."

Bumblebee chirped laughing. Then they heard screech of tires as the car that just passed them stopped somewhere and they could see two red spots of its rear lights. Then it shifted into reverse and before they knew it was near them. Now they could take a better look: a cherry red Aston Martin with white tribal markings on its doors and 'JOFY 892' licence number. Before they could react Knockout transformed and gave them a fish eye.

"Well what do I have here!" He exclaimed with curiosity. "Did you got tired of boys and decided to try girls or do you guys swap?" Knockout said in the most ambiguous way he could.

Miko gave him scandalised look and wanted to say something, but she felt his engine rumble and she got up. In the same moment Bumblebee transformed with his optic brows furrowed, he stepped in front of Miko. For now he chose not to activate his weapons, who knew what the Decepticon Medic wanted and he wasn't one to start brawls, not when he had a human to look for, even if part of him wanted to swap the asphalt with Knockout just to impress Miko.

"_Get lost"_ Bumblebee beeped angrily.

"Whoa, what's the matter?" Knockout grin, he would have some fun teasing the scout. "No need to get angry, or did I interrupt something?"

Bumblebee was just about to activate his guns but Miko jumped from behind him with angry snarl. "Yo Deceptitwerp, get your over polished pant job, undershot bite and scram!"

Knockout eyed her for a moment and then he grinned wider showing said occlusion defect**). "Now, now. There's no need to get aggressive. We're all adult here… well, actually not. But we're all old enough, there is no need to be shy I am a doctor."

Bumblebee whirred angrily. _"I said get lost…"_ but Knockout ignored him. From the look on his faceplates he was having good time teasing the 'Bot and his human companion.

Knockout gave them closer look, with little luck he would tease them a bit more, then scrapped the Autobot scout and take the human femme as a prisoner, Megatron would probably like to have a bargain chip as hostages were very useful. He made sure that his face look innocent, not betraying any of his plans. This was a good evening, he raced near Las Vegas and now he had a chance for some more fun.

"I see that I indeed interrupted something. Did I not?" He made a dreamy face and pretended to sigh. "Ah, youth!"

Bumblebee had enough of this comedy, he knew that Knockout is playing some sort of game and he wasn't eager to learn of its nature, especially with Miko close by. He decided to drive Knockout as far from Miko as possible and fight him there. He activated his guns and send message to Miko at the same time. He heard her phone signalling incoming text message.

Miko took out her phone and quickly read the text. Miko, I'll drive him as far as possible you call for back-up.

Knockout didn't seem fazed by Bumblebee but he looked ready to fight. The situation was tense and Miko pulled a contact list on her mobile picking Bulkhead when she heard another engine. For a second everyone froze, this could be just ordinary car coming, but then they realised that the sound was different, it was high performance motorbike engine. It could still be human only riding motorbike but the sound was familiar.

Then they saw dark form of ninja bike with slim feminine form riding it. The bike had bright elements that could be bright pink but it was hard to tell in the dark and from the distance. But the distance wasn't a problem as the motorbike was speeding and it was getting closer and closer with every passing second. Then the driver vanished in thin air, the bike jumped high, took few somersaults while shifting and then Arcee landed just few meters away with her blasters activated and aimed at the red Decepticon.

That made Knockout reconsiders his stance. He was willing to fight with Bumblebee; especially that he lost to him in New York and if he won it would give him few extra points in Megatron's optics. But now he had to face two Autobots. It was the same pair that had beaten him in New York and he would love to get even but he was alone against the two of them. He wasn't the bravest of Decepticons but he was no coward either, it's just that his finish was more important than wounded pride. A mech have to prioritise and in his book vanity was higher than pride. But it didn't mean that he would just run; the last word had to be his.

"Oh, you wound my spark! I came in peace!" He said with perfectly charming smile. "I was just driving by when I spot this young couple having some good time on the side of the road…"

He didn't know why they were there or even what they were really doing alone in the dark on the road but he could take a wild guess, and judging by everything he knew they were all alone. The fact that Arcee was there but not with them only added to what he thought of. It wasn't normal situation but then again – sometimes it's not the matter of species. Mixed couples of two sentient species were rare but they happened often enough in the Galaxy that no one was scandalised anymore.

Knockout's smile transformed into lecherous grin. "Anyway I know when I'm not welcome. Good night _Schätzchen_. And you two remember that interfacing can end up with sparklings!"

Before any of them could gather their wits he transformed and drove away as entire Pit was on his boot.

Arcee gave Bumblebee intrigued look. Bumblebee just rose his optic brows and made sure that he looked like incarnation of innocence (not exactly a lie, but not entirely truth either).

"Now I don't know what the two of you were doing in here when Knockout walked on you…"

"Bleep!" Bumblebee raised both his servos to indicate that he was innocent.

"We didn't do anything!" Miko was angry at this point. "I asked 'Bee to pull over so I could stretch my legs!"

Arcee eyed her with scepticism but the girl looked like she would breathe fire at any moment.

"_She lay on my hood because it was cold when Knockout caught us"_ Said Bumblebee who was a lot calmer than Miko. _"We didn't do anything wrong, really. If not for him we would be on our way again by now."_

Arcee narrowed her optics. She knew Bumblebee well enough to know that he was mature beyond his actual age – a sad side effect of growing up during the war; and that the young 'Bot rose mostly under Optimus' care she believed him. But then again he was young enough to have silly, stupid and sometimes irresponsible ideas, natural things for someone so young, she had to stay cautious. In addition he was with Miko that even if not as crazy as one could think at first, still was a teenage with unpredictable side to her. Even if Knockout was just messing with them it was something she would not ignore.

"All right you two, I believe you. But you will talk with Ratchet. No buts, it should be done before you went to this date."

"Oh yeah?" Miko voice sounded daring this time. "So tell me, how come you were this close to be able to get here so fast?"

Arcee only rested her hand on her hips. "I was patrolling when I spot Knockout. I just followed him."

"Sure you did." Miko gave her smug smile. "And you just happened to be patrolling in here? And Jack was just accidently watching the same movie in drive in cinema in his mum's car. I saw him."

Arcee opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Bumblebee managed not to chirp in laughter as he transformed back into his alt mode. Miko just caught them red handed on spying.

You know they probably did it to calm down Bulkhead.

"I know. Bulk is that way. Let's go home before Arcee decides to tow us."

Bumblebee chirped this time as he git moving. Arcee followed them and they went back to Area 51.

Bulkhead looked depressed, Wheeljack was close to roaring laughter, Smokescreen didn't stop grinning and Ratchet just pinched the area where bridge of his nose would be if he had a nose. Optimus was still unconscious and couldn't do anything but if he could, he would just stare.

"And then we just drove here." Arcee finished her part of the story. Bumblebee and Miko told their part first and now everyone knew what happened. At least what Bumblebee and Miko told them.

"Are you sure you didn't do anything else?" Ratchet sound tired.

"Beep."

"Yeah, why would we do anything else where everyone could just drive by and see us?" Miko crossed her arms taking defensive stance.

"If you ask me, Dock-Knock was just messing with them. " Said Smokescreen unasked but using nickname that Miko gave Knockout.

"Yeah. He probably thought that he just stumbled on easy prey." Added Wheeljack much more seriously. "Not that Bumblebee here would be easy to beat, but Knockout probably thought it was nice opportunity for payback after NY action. When Arcee came he probably decided that the price was too high and bailed out throwing some obnoxious comment. He just didn't know that those two indeed were on a date."

"True. But that still leaves us with two dating younglings." Arcee pointed out. "They may be different size but we have two youngsters on the loose. A talk with Ratchet would be in place."

That earned her hard stare from their doctor. "You know all the details, why won't you do the talk?"

"You're the doctor, you're in command and you'll be the one having to explain all the details to them." Arcee half grinned. "Maybe with all the gestures and displaying schematics?"

Ratchet mumbled few curses. It would be him having to deal with pesky youth. Bumblebee knew where the sparklings came, though he knew nothing about human reproduction. Miko knew about human reproduction, but not about Cybertronian equivalent. And their research after learning that Unicron laid in the centre of the Earth made them well aware of genetic similarities between two seemingly different races. In the end they learned that while unlikely and hard to perform, there was astronomical danger of cross-breading. It was possible with few other organic species that was genetically close and it ended up with creation of techno-organics. None of said races were as close to Cybertronians as humans were, and the only real obstruction here was size difference.

Ratchet figured out that while Bumblebee and Miko dated the danger was low enough so he never talked with them on the subject. Now he would have to. Oh joy! Maybe he could ask Nurse Darby for help?

"I will do it tomorrow, with assistance of Nurse Darby if she'll agree. Today is too late and Miko must go home. Bulkhead will take her there."

Stage 4 – The day after.

Next day was Saturday. June Darby made it to Area 51 in the afternoon after her shift ended. She quickly found new job in newly created military hospital that would be part of new military base located in close proximity of new Decepticon base. She was civilian but clearance wasn't a problem in her case.

Ratchet told her what happened and she agreed with what Wheeljack said – that Knockout was just trying to be witty; but that the Talk was in place.

Half an hour later Miko and Bumblebee were sitting in from of Ratchet and June. None of them eager to start the conversation, because how does one start talking about sex to two youngsters belonging to two different species who just decided to go on one date and never did anything, and even if they would think of doing IT they were wrong sizes? Neither Ratchet nor June knew that.

Ratchet was the first to gather himself enough to try. "I will omit all the genetic details because they don't matter. Both humans and Cybertronians have the same count of chromosomes and our genetic code structure is identical but they're built of different chemical substances and that's all you need to know." He made short break to think of next thing to say. "What counts is that there were known cases of Cybertronians cross-bread with organic species creating few techno-organics."

"Airachnid?" Asked Miko intrigued by the idea.

"No. She's just a beastformer; they just copy organic solution without use of organic DNA." Ratchet stopped not knowing what to say.

June read through a data that Ratchet prepared for her and uploaded to regular tablet. Finally she decided that she know what and how to say. "I know that both of you know where children of your own species come from. I think that explanation through analogy would be best things to do." She waited for Ratchet to say something but when he stayed silent she continued to explain.

After fifteen minutes both Miko and Bumblebee were glad that it ended. It wasn't half as embarrassing as they thought it will, but still it was weird. Especially when Ratchet took over and started to explain where sparks come from in this particular form of Cybertronian breading.

"Aw man! Glad it's over. "Miko stretched and Bumblebee beeped in agreement. "So, how about a second date?"

Bumblebee was torn between terror and ecstasy. She wanted to go on a second date with him, but if they did what kind of talk would Ratchet and June have for them? A child birth step by step?

The End – sort of.

Footnote.

Thanks for your attention.

**I used italics to indicate translation from Bumblebee's usual clicks and beeps.**

***)** I'm not much into made-up brands of cars (I do appreciate when someone will twist the existing name to sound differently but close enough for everyone to know what's that), so I decided that Urbana may be a new model based on Camaro.

****)** Look close when he smiles or grins, or simply show both denta plates. You'll see that his lower haw is set slightly forward. It doesn't take any of his charm away, but it's there. In my opinion it gives him more 'mechly' look.

I promised to explain how – in my book – it is possible for Cybertronians and humans to cross-bread. I decided to allow Cybertronians to cross-bread with organic species for one solid reason: techno-organics. They have to come from somewhere and excluding Beast Wars way of creating them there are only two other ways: mad scientists and cross-breading. Mad scientists are fun but they're rare, and those that do hold their interest in creating techno-organics are just small per cent of them. This leads us to cross-breading.

June mentioned analogy between human and Cybertronian reproduction. I was thinking of putting the description in fic itself, but it would be too much. So I put it in here.

Human semen – Transmetal Fluid.

Instead of sperms we have nanites carrying half of the genetic material of mech. Transmetal Fluid doesn't contain energon, all energon is present inside of nanites.

Ovum – Master Nanite.

Instead of an egg we have Master Nanite (larger and complicated than others nanite) that carry half of the femme or carrier (if it's a Cybertronian who decided to keep both options open) genetic material. Master Nanite does not take part in creation of new protoform only in creation of spark chamber. In my book spark is not created through spark merge – which serve only to bond – but is effect of overload when two EM fields create strong enough charge.

Uterus – Gestation chamber.

No explanation necessary, though in Gestation chamber additional nantites are present. It is filled with special fluid similar to Transmetal fluid but rich with energon.

Sex looks similar and works the same way.

Master Nanite is active for certain period and deactivates in order for genetic material to be replaces as it disintegrate fast. The smaller the femme the shorter the non-active periods are.

Mech's nanites enter the Gestation Chamber and copy genetic code of a femme while upload their code to Master Nanite. If the charge was strong enough and results in ignition of new spark (Master Nanite has special electrodes that will be activated only by strong enough charge and support new spark through short period of time needed to create basic and small spark chamber) all nanites will start to replicate with the use of transfluid's ingredients. Then they will create spark chamber and protoform. When the process will be complete new Cybertronian will be ready to deliver and will be removed from gestation chamber via surgical intervention.

In case of an organic father/sire the process is similar but only femme's nanites take part in process of building new Cybertronians and only Gestation Chamber fluid will be used as source of raw materials.

In case of organic mother/carrier nanites will copy half of the DNA but it will take multiple intercourses for them to develop one Master Nanite (made of few mech's nanites combined together) to support and build gestation chamber. After ignition of new spark the survival of pregnancy will require regular and often intercourse to provide transmission fluids and new nanites for materials to build spark chamber and protoform.

Humans have electromagnetic fields but they're not as strong as Cybertronian ones to it takes multiple intercourses to create new spark.

And all that only under condition that both parents will be the same size so they can provide enough transmetal fluid on regular basis.

Not that I plan on using this in my fics, at least not now.


End file.
